And our dreams matter only as long as they are "legal".

Our culture has ingrained an excitement for that which is unnecessary, telling us that it is indeed very necessary, crucial, vital in order to pursue the happiness that one can only have by following certain paths dictated by government and the society stemmed from it.

The Girl Who Doesn't Exist

How To Get A Driver's License Without a Social Security Number

Like every brainless sixteen year old, I couldn't wait to get my driver's license. I had nowhere I really wanted or needed to go, yet I wanted to drive very much. I wanted to see friends, go places, have freedom from family. But, unlike many teenagers, I feared I'd never be able to actually get a license because I had no state issued birth certificate o…

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10 months ago · Keturah Hickman

I am glad to have a driver’s license, but I also believe that it is a violation of my American rights. I was glad to drive, but not excited to get my license.

Most rights are usually taken away during a time of "crisis". Almost whenever there's an issue we become like the Israelites in 1 Samuel 8, crying for a king, for someone to lead us, protect us. We forget the words of Benjamin Franklin.

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety

Benjamin Franklin

We forget how the king that the Israelites asked for burdened them with an unjust and a hard rule. We forget the importance of liberty and beg to be granted safety from the consequences of our own choices and actions.

People, when faced with fear, are almost always the same. They fear death so much they would rather live a lesser life. They are so full of fear, they beg for any illusion that promises safety.

The early 1900's were a time of great change. Many believed God's son would return at any moment. The world was changing, expanding, growing, shrinking at such a fast rate that humanity did not know what to do with themselves. Some, such as the Mennonites and Amish, deemed the change as immoral. Some saw it and knew it to be very good. Others, though tempted by its goodness, were frightened by its largeness.

Electricity, telephones, television, cars.

Though life improved, people were still frightened. For with these new conveniences also came new horrors. Though technology and knowledge progressed humanity, they were still controlled by ignorant fear.

First, did you know that some places back then and even now required licenses for bikes? Always, for anything and everything, man has tried to say that rights weren't safe, they needed to be regulated and supervised.

Cars were good. But people did not know how to drive them. And some even would make their own cars. Death had always been real. But car crashes were a new sort of death that terrified the masses. And the media played on the novelty of this.

In 1901, New York was the first state to require that an auto be registered—the idea was that the car would be approved as safe for the road, not merely a motor put into a buggy. By 1918 all cars were required to have license plates.

Oddly enough, though the reasoning was that a car would have to be a real car, most states didn't even inspect their vehicles. And at first people made their own plates. And a couple years later when they were state issues, you simply paid for the tag and stuck it on your automobile (unless you lived in one of the states that did do inspections). Oddly enough, many states still do not do auto inspections. Oddly enough, Americans don't seem to care. They do what they are told, they buy the tags, and they put them on their automobiles.

We are told we have the right to own property. And yet we pay for that which we own forever or risk losing that which we own. (A few states do have lifelong license plates). If one truly owns property, it is theirs. If a country is truly free, full of sovereign individuals under no monarch, they need not pay. If they do pay, they do not own that which they believe themselves to own. If they do pay, they do not own anything, and do not even have the right to own anything, but they are paying for the privilege and permission to use that which a higher power has granted.

Rights are not granted; they are inherent. Ownership is paid in full and can't be lost by not paying.

Car crashes still happened, though many of the automobiles were now real cars that didn't fall apart in the middle of the road. Because drivers were still not educated drivers.

The first states to require licenses were Massachusetts and Missouri in 1903. And though the idea was to ensure that drivers would be safer, there was no test required. In fact, all you had to do was pay twenty-five to fifty cents and you would have a license mailed to you. It did absolutely no good, except now you had a permission slip. As if that somehow made it safer to drive. Finally, the two states required driving tests respectively in 1920 and 1959.

There were those who would chauffeur, who would make money driving people around. Sometimes these people did not know how to drive, simply owned a car. And so accidents happened and the populace freaked.

In 1910 New York passed a law requiring all those who were livery drivers to pass a test. The idea in many states was even if it was wrong to require the normal driver to have a license, those who made money driving people around should at least be legitimized. Three years later New Jersey was the first to say that all drivers must pass the exam.

The rest of the states followed suit, at first just issuing licenses, then also requiring tests for the licenses. The last state to require both the license and exam was South Dakota in 1959. Even Henry Ford got a license to drive in 1919.

And all over the world it was as sporadic and different as the States. Some countries to this day do not require a license; some require only a payment for a piece of paper without exam; and some places, like Germany charge around $2,000 and have many intense courses that one must pass before being allowed to drive.

Eventually and in most places, the archaic documentation has grown ever more complicated, requiring a photo for identification, and extra proof for identification, until now where we are faced with the Real I.D.

"But what is wrong with all this?" You may ask. What is wrong with trying to make our roads safer, more secure?

"Would you have that the roads be a mess of disorder, with no regulation, education, or supervision?"

Yes ... but no.

It doesn't have to be so black and white. We don't have to give up liberty in order to have security. It is possible to have both. And we needn't be granted either. It is possible to have a free and safe nation.

But how, if not with an exam, vehicle registration, and driver's license?

With education.

As in with all things, if we do not educate our young, most of them will grow up to be reckless, ignorant, and unfit for society. As in with all things, they must be taught how to live life.

We all know a sheltered youth is a hazard to future. And so we teach them. We teach them to read, to write, to think. If we are wise, we teach them about guns and sex, how to respect both. We do not require a license to have sex; we educate. Education is the best prevention for premature death.

"But," you may argue. "Education doesn't stop car accidents."

You are right. But neither do licenses. We still have car accidents. In fact, it still compromises a huge portion of our deaths. Despite all we do, death can not be prevented completely. We understand this with our licenses. Why do we not understand it without licenses?

"But it's not only about the death. It's about about taxes. Roads have to be paid for."

But how can you rightfully take away a man's property because of any reason, especially if he doesn't have license? Is this not one of the reasons we left England, a place of debtor's prisons?

"But it's also needed for identifition?"

Are you free? If you are truly free to travel, if you are truly free to own what you will, you would not be required to show identification. You belong in America. You do not need to have documentation, as if you are owned.

"But how are the authorities to know that you belong here if you do not have identification?"

Is it right to infringe on the citizen's rights because criminals do bad things? And, besides, how would this suddenly become about identification, when it started out as a security to prevent reckless driving and inadequate automobiles? Or how is it right to take away a man's license for reasons unrelated to driving? Such as not paying child support?

If we are truly free, we will be educated, not granted permission. If we are truly free, our rights will not hang on whether or not we've paid dues and hold papers.

You can't prevent death. But when you put the responsibility of your safety into the government's hands, and when you forget that you are the one that that is in charge of preserving what it means to be American, you have proven that you neither understand nor value liberty.

And yes I have a license. I have paid for permission to exercise what ought to be my basic rights. Much of my income goes to paying for things I already own, because if I don't it will be taken away.

But just because I have chosen to be subjected does not mean I don't recognize the tyranny and injustice of being violated.

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Disagreement is welcome, just keep it civil or I will not engage.

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

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Truman Lamb, father of hundreds.

This is the man who chose not to exist, and as a result I have the life I now live. Or more like, he chose to continue existing as the rest of the world accepted a number. A number that he correctly predicted to someday become an identification number.

I never met him, and I really never knew much about him until I decided to embrace my heritage these last couple years. And even then, I still don't know enough about my great-grandfather. I know that he was by far an imperfect man. His first marriage was a failure. He had sixteen children. He was a hard father. Many knew him, and I'm sure many hated him because of his peculiar stances and beliefs.

I know nothing of the sort of man he was; if he had a sense of humor or if he had hobbies aside from his "eccentric" biblical and political beliefs.

I know that some of his children loved him. And some of them despised him. I do not know if I would have loved or hated him. But ... I do know the Lamb family. We are full of difficult individuals, each of us with our own unique, strong, heated personality. And I love all of my relations, so, I'm sure I would have seen past my great-grandfather's imperfections and loved him, too. And yet, does one ever know?

But know him or not, this I do know. Everything he did has affected hundreds, possibly even thousands, of people. Negatively or positively, that may be the question ... except, is it really? It has been up to us, each of his descendants, to react to his actions in ways that blessed or hindered ourselves.

Some hated my great-grandfather, as I have said. They hated him so much that they perceived themselves to be abused by him. They chose to see themselves as victims and they embraced all he hated.

Now, just because Truman Lamb hated it doesn't mean it ought to have been hated. I'm not saying everything he believe was worthy of preserving for heritage's sake alone. Every man should be questioned. We must find truth for ourselves and know what should be and shouldn't be pursued, loved, desired.

There were those that loved nearly everything Truman Lamb stood for. They feared what he feared and hated what he hated. Many of them never left the shadow of who he was. Many never increased their own talents, gifts. Many never lived their own lives, never glorified God in their own beings.

There were those who simply wished to live, and thought that the only way to do so was to forget the man.

There were those who confused by loyalty and desire struggled their entire lives to do more without causing offense to the ghost of the man that said, "Do as I have commanded you to do."

His command, likened unto the commandment given to the Rechabites by their grandfather in Jeremiah 35.

And then ... there was my family. Four generations later, every decision my great-grandfather made in celebrating Saturday Sabbath, eating clean meats, refraining from alcohol, and being wary of the government and their systems still remained with our core beings.

And it all begged for an answer, for each of to decide, "Is your heritage a blessing or a curse?"

For a time I was young and did not care. I loved my wild, large, colorful family. But then desires of my own called to me to find life. I had never met my great-grandfather, but echoes of his words whispered throughout his children and grandchildren. Sometimes his words sounded like hauntings, commanding me to die without having seen God's world.

But other times I was able to see past the confused crowd of my own searching family members, to the reality of the choice—my choice.

Would I use what I had been given to my advantage, or would I hate this thing? How would I perceive this heritage? Would I be a victim? Or could I be whatever I wanted? Could I embrace my past and my future as one?

My great-grandfather paved a path for me, but God had created the split in the road. My grandparents made sure that I remembered the path, but God is the one that made sure I saw and knew that there were flowers meant for my fingers. My parents birthed me and taught me to walk on the path, but it was I that had to choose how I would walk this path and where I would go on it.

To love the path, or to envy another that was not mine? To see myself as a slave of Truman Lamb's actions, or to see myself as a free woman able to love my past enough to guard it and create the future of my choosing?

One man made hundreds. One man made decisions. But those hundred who came from him have each found happiness and bitterness according to their own forming. We have been individually responsible for the negative or positive lives we have lived. His choices were mere gifts or tools, but not determinations.

I chose to see my heritage as positive. I decided to love my life. I have never been a victim, but blessed beyond imagination.

Yes, I've had to fight for what I've desired. But is that not the whole of what it means to be American?

Our dreams are not rights: they are the results of hard earned rights put into practice and pursued whole-heartedly.

So, yes. I did not know Truman Lamb. But without him this blog would not exist. Without him I would not be who I am. Without him many, many people would not be. Without him, and people like him, this world would be a different place.

In a way, he's almost like a real life Dystopian character. Doesn't he even look like some boy from a movie or book ready to conquer the corruption around him, though all think him crazy and rebellious?

What about you? Who are you because of your ancestors, and who are you because of your decisions?

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

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Polite Company

My Grampa's Book Is Available

On the evening of February 13th last year I announced a fundraiser for my grandfather’s memoir. When I awoke the next money I had all the financial aid I needed to make it possible to edit and publish his book. Now — a year later — the book is finished…

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a year ago · 12 likes · 1 comment · Keturah Hickman

In one of my first blog posts I shared about how my great-grandfather chose to not receive the first social security number and why he thought it was the Mark of the Beast.

I want to share why I made the same choice some eighty years later, and why I believe it is wrong to have a social security number. I do not mean immoral, as in if I were to have a number I'd be damned to Hell.

I do not believe to have the social security number is to have the Mark of the Beast, or not in the sense that many do. The Bible isn't so clear when it speaks of this mysterious Mark of the Beast, yet we all think we know so much about it and fear it even more.

What Revelation 13 does say is that the mark will be forced upon all. At this point in history, a social security number is still a choice, to some degree. If you read on in Revelation 14, it speaks of the Father's name being written on His people's foreheads.

I do not believe either passage is talking of a literal number, but of who owns our allegiance and of which ideas are kept inside our heads and how we carry out those ideas into life.

I do not believe that a baby who had no choice in being numbered is condemned to Hell. I do not believe it is immoral to be subjected to numbering. Though, sometimes there are major consequences when it is done without God's blessing and direction (2 Samuel 24).

Even more, I can't believe a social security number is the true Mark of the Beast, because it is predominately an American thing. Other countries may have their own form of identification tax numbers, but every country is different. A true Beast's Mark would be uniform throughout the world, forced upon all, and impossible to navigate as I have done.

And yet I believe it is wrong to have a social security number.

I know many Christians who like to think ALL SIN IS EQUAL. But I do not agree with that. Some sins transgress against Divine law. Some are simply "missing the mark", and err in that they are not perfect. Such sins result in grave Earthly consequences, rather than eternal punishment.

I believe a social security number falls under a sociological and economical sin.

Sociological, because it does not allow for humanity to live under their God-given rights fully.

Economical, because it is socialism.

It is wrong, not because of some religious reason, but because it violates a free market. It has been accomplice in violating American's rights to work, to be educated, to travel. It is wrong because it is being used to identify people, a wholly un-American practice.

In America, nothing ought to be required except honesty and hard work.

It is not immorally wrong for me to have a social security number, but it is not right that I should have to have one.

I was born in a country that supposedly supports the right (not the privilege) of "giving it your all" to produce what you will.

The American dream sings loudly in my blood. And I desire to pursue life according to my conscious. I desire to fail and learn, to love and hate, to make my money and spend my money, to make my way in life toward death, and I desire to do all under only God's rule.

Americans left Europe and its government, saying, "Only God granted us the right to be human. Only God gives us rights. We will live accordingly, under no man."

And yet we continue to try to be like those we fled from. We continue to be like the Israelites, crying out, "Give us a king to judge us." (1 Samuel 8:6).

If you truly believe you ought to have a government to be ruled by and to bow down to, then move back to Europe. If you truly want to take another's earnings to secure your own old age, then move to Europe. If you truly want socialism in any form, then go to Europe. Or anywhere. But if you do not value liberty over security, if you do not love freedom over socialism, you do not belong in America.

You do not belong here if you only wish to make America like that which we fought to not be. Do not spit on the heritage of our American Revolutionary War. Do not say you value freedom and then hand over every blood-stained victory for a moment of ease.

It is wrong to have a social security number because it is anti-American.

But being American is not a salvation issue. And having been forced as a baby to have a social security number doesn't necessarily make you un-American. If you truly want to live free as an American and according to the principles of the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30, then you can be both American and live life fully with or without a number.

If you live with what you've been given and increase that bountifully, then you are free from how socialism is plaguing this country's principles.

Me not having a social security number does not make me more free or moral that you. My choosing to appreciate this blessing from my great-grandfather and my using this blessing to learn and live better is what makes me both free (but I'm still not better than anyone). And you can still be free if you choose to learn and understand both your constitutional and Biblical rights.

I do not exist because of the lack of a number. I exist because I have accepted the breath God put into my lungs. You need not be a slave because of society's lies. You can learn your rights and work them to your advantage.

Yes, it will be harder for you in some ways. And it will be harder for me in other ways. America is no longer truly free, but embracing more every moment the ideologies of socialism.

But even if we lose our rights and are forced to live under tyrants, forced to not be free, we need not sin. The number we may end up all having will not define us or be our master as long as we hold onto the truth that we are more.

Even if we all become slaves. Even if we are forced under complete socialism, or full communism. Even if we die. This need not define us or our morality. Life is a gift, and the only sin is not living it when we can. The only sin is not loving when we ought to, or worse, loving that which we ought to hate.

If this blog has ever made you feel immoral because you have a social security number, please do not feel that way. Your salvation does not depend upon whether you must pay unlawful taxes or not. Your salvation does not depend upon how easily you are able to live life.

But if this blog has ever made you feel immoral because you have not used the talents God gave you to full capacity, then good. In this, I wish all consciences to be convicted.

Life may not look the same for all of us. We are not all dealt the same blessings. Different callings, different heritages, different dreams make each of us who we are. It will look different for each of us, and yet we may all have life if only we choose and live it.

Our existence is not our morality, but our blessing. The only sin you can possibly commit in this is refusing to acknowledge your blessings, hiding them under a rock, and saying, "Father God, you have given me nothing."

Existence does not make morality. But morality can be found and made in our existence. Life does not guarantee salvation, but salvation is only found as we live life. We are only doomed when we refuse the freedom of salvation.

Be free in the blessings God has granted you.

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

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I am no longer human, merely another number. Nothing more than cattle, to be done with as they see fit. My face is invisible; all that matters is the string of digits tattooed on my skin—this is me, I am theirs. This is my identity, this is my prison. Do I exist? Am I alive? According to their papers, I do ... for as long as they wish. But as soon as they cross out those numbers I am dead. For I am no longer me,

I am no longer the person who simply lived under the name my parents gave me, in the body God placed me in.

From every WWII novel

One of my best friends was a part of an off-grid homesteading Facebook group. One day, she said that someone made a post asking for advice on keeping her children out of the system and not giving them social security numbers.

Remember, this was an off-grid group.

The responses were overwhelmingly the same:

"Why would you do something so cruel? They'll never be able to do anything."

"Don't be stupid. Everyone needs a social security number to file taxes."

"Your children will hate you."

"But then you can't take them off your taxes, you know?"

My friend posted a link to this blog, but it was removed with a probation warning: links are forbidden in this group.

The ironic hypocrisy was so disgusting my friend left the group (I joined it to message the people who actually seemed open-minded to truly living off-grid).

But it's also sad. Because there are so many lies we have been fed by our government. They don't need to round us up and tattoo us, we voluntarily hand ourselves over and keep the number for ourselves, and claim it as our life-line.

But, the tragedy doesn't end here ...

When I was in Germany I went to the Flossenburg concentration camp with my Au Pair family. There I read that a mother managed to save her baby from being killed by hiding it in a garbage can during inspection. They were released from camp only a couple months later. It's one of those stories that inspires you ... until you think of all the other mothers who also hid their babies in garbage cans, but were still found.

The babies hid in the garbage cans are every child that a parent has spared from the modern system. Some of the children will cry (a garbage can is no pleasant place). Some of the children will be found regardless through CPS. But many of the children will grow up free as I and my siblings did.

And then it is up to us for hating our parents or not. It is up to us to research and decide whether they blessed us with freedom and life, or whether we'd rather the government define what life should look for us.

Sadly, the hatred is too prevalent. But this isn't because of a lack of a number, but because even the parents have believed a dangerous lie: that the child must remain in the garbage can forever. They, too, believe that they can't do anything. They believe that a sweet and beautiful life is impossible, but that it is a worthy trade. Would you rather be an animal owned by a tyrant?

Some of the children say, "Yes." They hate life in the trash can. It is not a good trade for them. They are young, with dreams and aspirations. And the government says, "Yes, you'll be ours. But we'll also give you what you want." This is also a lie. But oh how good it sounds to the child who has been kept in a garbage can, to the child who has lived to survive, but not to thrive.

And so we have the sad reality of those who were blessed with freedom, but cursed to not understand it. Who asked the government to, "Grant me my identity."

I'm Not the Only One ...

The Girl Who Didn't Exist: Alecia Faith Pennington, Texas.

Podcast: https://www.wnycstudios.org/story/invisible-girl

Alecia was raised I was, the oldest of many children, home schooled and kept out of the system. But she wasn't taught to love her freedom, nor to understand it, nor most importantly how to use it.

It is natural for nineteen year olds to ask the question of, "Who am I?"

But tragically, Alecia allowed the government to answer her with a string of numbers and a few pieces of paper. Oh, Alecia. You are so much more than that. The American dream is so much greater than what the government grants. You are an American citizen by birth. How dare you think your parents neglected to "officiate" this? We were Americans before our government conceived of making us nothing more than cattle on their war-board.

You are not this number you have naively fought for. And I'm sure, by this time you are very aware of this, and still not content with your "identity", and discovering that your dreams must still be fought for despite having a social security number.

The podcast is sad, because it shows an angry girl bolting out of the trashcan her parents mistakenly kept her in for far too long. It is natural for children to grow up and leave their parents and live. Too often parents like Alecia's forget this, and tell their child only of the horrors of the world.

But when you are young, you know there are beauties to be had, too. And when you are young, no horror can stop you.

Accidentally Saved, Yet Knowingly Gave Up Her Life

Her father didn't want her, but the government did: Haylee Ann Rucker

Article about Haylee Ann Rucker, Minnesota.

Halyee was also nineteen when the question of what she would do with her life hit her. Like many of us, she was taught, you can do anything you want, with a little bit of a dream and a lot of hard work ... as long as you have a social security number.

She believed the lie that she didn't exist. Who is she to be satisfied in her own life when the government have made it clear that one must be legal to have life?

"Rucker had none of the vital paperwork needed to lead a regular adult life," the article reads. And now we know the secret behind the #adulting memes. It's all about having the right paperwork, not about who you are or what you do.

The writer of the article goes on to say that she met Haylee working "under the table" for the Mayor's wife as a health aid.

And just what does it mean to work "under the table"? Whose table are we talking about? Once upon a time, all a man needed to do was work and provide for his own table. Yet, we live in a time where not only our we considered stingy for not allowing the government to take our money to buy tables for other people, but we have to work and pay our taxes according to how our government has arranged their cards on their table. Anything less is "working under the table."

"I can't do anything," Haylee said. And I feel her agony, for I too thought this when I was nineteen.

But ...

Just because we think something, doesn't mean it's true. Just because all feels hopeless, doesn't mean it is so. We are Americans, and we were blessed with the Spirit of a dream: live your life, limited only by what you don't do to achieve your dreams, under no man or ruler, permitted to do anything as long as it harms no one else's pursuit of happiness.

And then she received her papers, marking her as property of the US government. She willingly held out her arm and accepted the tattooed numbers. She gave up herself to exist by the rules of a corrupt power.

And she said, "I can finally start living my life."

Haylee, how has life worked out for you? Have you find your dreams? Is there truly anything you can now do that you couldn't have done before, with just a little more education?

Are you truly living life more fully now?

This isn't to say these girls are evil for having made what I consider a mistake.

No more than a Jew (or German, Polish, or Russian for that matter) is evil for having been incarcerated in a concentration camp. But I will speak more on this matter in my next post, Existence Does Not Equate Morality.

But for now, I want to remind you all that this is the heart of why I started this blog. It's not about having or not having a birth certificate or social security number. It's about living an educated life of liberty.

Even in the concentration camps, there were those who refused to view themselves as their captors viewed them. They would not be a number. They lived even though a captive. They fought for their dreams when all the odds were stacked against them. Many died, true, but even more tragically, there were those who survived that never truly learned how to live. But those who did live, whether they escaped or not, understood who they were and what they wanted, and that defined them.

You may be a servant to our government on paper. You may be a prisoner of the system. But as long as you can still fight, you are living. As long as you know who you are, it matters not how the world may try to control you. You are free simply by knowing and living to the best of your ability.

How many others are out there like these two girls who simply want to live, but don't know how? How many are being told sweet lies by our society?

How many, like me, simply want both dreams and truth? Who has learned that liberty is nothing without life?

I want to remind all young people, whether you "legally" exist or not, that your identity is what you choose to make it. You do not need anyone or anything to validate your worth or path.

Not even a social security number.

Have you heard either of these girls' stories, or other stories like them? Do you know of a young person struggling with their identity? Or perhaps you are struggling with this question? If so, never hesitate in emailing me, and I will try to offer encouragement where I can.

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

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"I read your last blog and what you said about being sixteen and asking yourself 'why do I have to have my beliefs?' resonated with me. I'd love to read how you came to terms with having certain beliefs or convictions that limit you from living the 'normal American' life. Assuming that you have come to terms with that."

~ A friend of mine

When I was eleven, and older or younger, I loved sitting in on the wild debates of my extended, ginormous family. My grandma would always tell me, "Go be a kid and play with your cousins." But I'd always find a way to sneak back in, and edge in a word or two of my own.

I loved how my family was basically a soap opera that couldn't be fit in any box. I thrived on being allowed to question all of my beliefs and even disagree with them.

My nature consists of a naivety tainted by a mind that perceived all wasn't as I wished.

I never trusted anyone completely, yet I could pour my every thought to anyone. I trusted none, and loved all to the point of nearly hating a few. I judged all immediately. If I loved an individual, which was usually, there was little chance of me ever verbally acknowledging that. Quite a few times, as a child, I would inform my mother about others — "That lady is a witch," or "He's a control-freak." My mom would "rebuke" me, and then agree with me months or years later.

When I was twelve I decided I would no longer accept the way we kept Sabbath, ate only clean meats, and spoke to God with only Hebraic names. I would know why, and not because my grandpa and father said so.

That is when I started on a path I've never ended on; a path of always studying and never being satisfied to stop. I came to terms with some of my family beliefs, and threw some out. I argued my points and convinced my entire family to quit observing the Lunar Sabbath and change to Saturday when I was fourteen.

But in my later teens my love for knowledge and truth was diluted—mind you, not extinguished—for a time as I entered a new realm of friends with their questions.

They asked if I thought I was better than them. When I said no they'd ask why I did what I did. When I gave my reasons they'd ask me if I thought they were going to hell. When I said no they would then say, "They why can't you just be normal? Why is it so important to be different if it doesn't matter."

I tried and failed to explain why my beliefs mattered to me even if they didn't make me better. I tried to say that I didn't think differences should separate us. I tried and failed. Some friends felt judged anyways. Some friends left. Some friends stayed, but wouldn't talk about anything.

This time embittered me toward my beliefs and my family.

"Why couldn't I have been born normal? Why must I have to think this way? Why can't I just be like my friends and not wear dresses, not observe Saturday Sabbath, not eat clean, not have to worry about whether or not I'll ever be able to live any sort of life because of not having a social security number. Will I even ever find a guy that will accept me for who I am and not think I'm hating him because we are a little different?"

(I've always assumed I'd marry a guy that believed a lot differently than me because I don't like the arrogance of most people that believe like me, and also I love stimulating debates, and what better way to have an unlimited supply of those than to marry someone who believes a little different about things that don't matter in a Salvation sense?)

Which brought me to the question, "Why must I stress over these questions that aren't derived in morality?"

It wasn't that I wanted to be like my friends. It was that I was tired of the people I loved judging me because they thought I judged them. I was tired of being accused of being a debater even though they would instigate the questions. Why did it have to matter that I wore dresses? Couldn't they see me for who I was, not what I wore?

Why did it matter that I didn't eat pork? That shouldn't have affected them. They could still eat whatever they like. And we could still debate about all the intricacies of the kosher laws and still be friends and still eat according to our consciences.

Why did it have to matter that I worshiped on Saturday Sabbath? Why did it matter to them that I planned to never get a social security number? Why did it matter that I was different? Everyone was different in some way and I loved how they were different.

Why did they have to be friends with me despite our difference? Why couldn't we be friends because of what we had in common, and that commonness unite us during our times of debates? Why did their have to be conflict simply because I was "more weird"?

Friends told me I wasn't a real American (because no SS#). Friends told me I wasn't a real Christian, because I was too "Jewish". Friends don't me I was living under the old law because I loved the whole Bible.

Friends left, and for awhile I grew silent. For years I didn't tell anyone I didn't have a SS#. But somehow they'd find out from someone that I "didn't exist". Or that I didn't or did do something that was, "Wow. Really? Why?"

Stubbornly, I pushed through people's inquiries and post-recoils, and searched for people who didn't judge me for my answers. Also, I learned to give answers that weren't so confrontational in nature. Yes, I'll admit sometimes my excitement and love for how I was raised may not have always looked as I meant for it to look. It was probably my fault that many friends said the things they said to me.

All the same, it forced me to start a long process, and ask myself, "What do I value, and why?"

It forced myself to be honest. And to study deeper than ever before. It forced me to allow myself to grieve over certain people and their words and to dig into the truths of what they said. It forced me to look at myself in another way.

So what did I determine were my values?

In a nutshell: truth, family, friends, love; in no particular order.

My values weren't rooted in what I believed, but why I believed or did what I believed. Some things I truly believe as truth with all my heart. Some things simply raise my heart toward God. Some things I do out of honor for my family. And some things I do out of love toward my friends.

With all my heart, I believe God is, and that His words are mine. I believe something very controversial that there are different types of sin.

Some sin are sins against God directly and result in an eternal punishment. Example: blasphemy against God, rejection of His son.

Some sins are against man, and the punishment isn't always so severe as in being eternal, but holds devastating emotional and physical earthly consequences. Example: Adultery, fornication.

Some sins are against both man and God, and God will judge man accordingly. Examples: Murder, turning a blind eye to the poor and imprisoned, etc.

Some sins hold minor, earthly consequences, and such are up to the individual and his conscious. Example: If one doesn't keep the Sabbath their body will be overcome by exhaustion and their health will slide, and such.

Some sins are of ethical or principal value, meaning they do not go against God or man, but who I am as an American. And this is where the social security number falls under. Socialism is against everything I am and stand for to my very core. I will not go to Hell if I ever receive one, but it will also change many aspects of who I am and mean a forfeit of my values if I ever receive one.

And then there are the sins that are against those I love. Meaning, the way I dress, and remain at home, and refrain from certain holidays and alcohol. These things are not sins against anyone, but to do them now would cause unnecessary offense toward those I wish to honor. Does this mean I do all my parents wish of me? Absolutely not. But I choose my battles, doing what I feel I must to live my life fully, all the while honoring them as much as I can in what is ethically and principally important for them.

Learning this about myself (and sin) has helped me come to grips to not being normal. And it's helped me be more confident when others ask me, "So, why don't you just do what everyone else does if you don't think it's wrong."

I still naively believe in love; a love that is so loyal that it unifies all even when they dress and eat and party differently. I still dream of a world where we can all live together in our own way.

I value family heritage. I value friends of all backgrounds. I value people willing to debate and not insult; friends that are stimulated by each others' difference, friends who understand each other even when they don't agree.

I've come to terms with all my other values by understanding why I have them and in what order I have them, and I've come to peace with them by continuing to love all people, but by not being bothered by those who are bothered by me.

I've come to grips with the fact that some people just won't ever be able to see me past my beliefs ... but that some will.

Above all, I value real love, giving it even if I don't receive it, and receiving it from those who accept me for who I choose to be.

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

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My sister loves comics books. A while back she found this comic book at a library and told me, "It's about this guy without a social security number. The whole book is about the government trying to kill him, but at the end he's when they decide they like him they try to reward him by giving him a social security and he's like 'no thanks'."

Well, that sounded pretty intriguing to me. I mean, how often do you find a piece of fiction that positively portrays someone without a social security number?

Not often.

So I had my sister borrow it from the library again.

BUT.

The book wasn't quite as my sister portrayed it to be ...

I don't read many comics, so it might just be me, but I find comic books a bit hard to understand, and also somewhat vague.

It took me a day to get into this book, and then I had to keep backtracking because comments would be made like "I can't believe I just killed someone" and I was like, "Wait!? He killed him!?"

The true conspiracy behind vaccines finally revealed[/caption]

TITLE: Interman

Genre: Science fiction/ superhero

Author: Jeff Parker

Pages: 128

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Love the bits of philosophy

And there’s some good snark

That bit about goals though is amazing

Interman is Van Meach, a young confident man who knows he's different but he doesn't allow those differences to define him, but help him help others better.

And that's just what he does ... until people start trying to kill him.

"If you're a friend, why are you trying to kill me!?"

"WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!?!?"

Like most young people, Meach questions why he lives. But unlike many stories, his questions aren't born of depression but curiosity. He knows he was "created" in a science lab and has inhumane powers. His adopted parents raised him to guard his powers, and he's under the radar

He's not a "legal" citizen, but a man who keeps is forced to live in a manner that brings not notice to his existence.

He discovers he was made to be a war machine, and that people want to destroy him for that.

He spends a portion of the book looking for work, but turns it down with a measure of honor and a boatload of conscious. Ah, but don't you love his snark even as he does it?

"To put people in danger for a meal? I'm starving! But I'll be murdered soon anyways."

This old lady is probably my favorite character in the book. She's just so honest and you can't help but feel sorry for her.

So, you know when characters have these "top secret discussion" in a public place? I loved this bit of realism where someone overheard and tried to capitalize.

Did I mention that there's some fun dialogue? Also, there's hints at romance and some suggestive content, but nothing overly so. As far as superhero romance goes, this was pretty clean. There was almost a proposal, but it didn't make it. Some hugging, but no kissing if you can believe it 😝

As for other content, there's some language, but not much. A few usages of the d-word, and some minor vulgar language.

At the end the people who've been trying to kill him finally realize he'd be a valuable asset. So they offer to make him a citizen.

"I'd love to come above ground. If I live long enough."

That really annoyed me.

Van Meach was living a perfectly fulfilled life, serving his fellow man and happy with himself and the work. And then these government officials decided to interfere and murder him.

They never say sorry.

They never say Meach had the right to live.

But like gods, they say, "We've decides you may live. And here, let us make you one of our subjects while we're at it."

If it'd been anyone else, Meach would have been a fool to trust them and accept their "reward". But no, he's like, "Sure. It'll be nice having my real name on my passport."

Oh.

And he finally earned the right to allow the government to steal his income 😂😝

Final thoughts:

It was a fun, quick read. But also frustrating because it furthers the belief that we aren't fully human unless we exist according to man's laws, and that the government not God permits us to have natural rights.

Have you ever read this book? I'd love to come across more fiction books where the main characters live without a social security number (and are portrayed correctly).

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

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Welcome to my blog, M! Can you introduce yourself to the readers?

I like painting and art in general. I’m really passionate about herbalism and the whole naturalpathic world that’s out there just waiting to be truly seen. I am currently learning how to be a master herbalist with my mom. I absolutely love herbalism and no one can change my mind about it. I’m a Christian and love and know that God is real because of past experience. Lots of past experience.

What does a normal day look like for you?

Really just stay home and babysit my siblings, cook two times a day, chores, at home, money chores (certain chores that earn money because it’s extra. I don’t have an allowance). Then during school days, it’s the same thing but with school on top of that.

What is it like not having a social security?

Not having a social Security number really sucks. My parents chose to not give me one when I was born, because my family believes that a SSN is a pre-curser to head straight towards the mark of the beast and they didn’t want us to be owned by the government. How you can be owned by the government by a SSN is that they can see what you’re doing anytime they wish, not including methods, like cameras or Facebook and Instagram and other social medias.

With SSN the government can hunt you down and kill you anytime they want. Another thing about not having a SSN is that you can’t have a driver's license, You can’t own a house or a piece of land, you can’t have a bank account, and you can’t go to college. All of what I just said is unconstitutional. It’s illegal to have those laws. The government tricked you into thinking that those where actual, real laws.

Do you enjoy not having one? Would you ever want to get one? If so, why?

I do enjoy not having a SSN because I don’t want the government knowing everything about me. Another reason why I don’t want one is because the Bible says that you need to work for your money. SSN gives you money. If you need money but have no work then people can help you, but you won't stop working just because people will help you. That’s not right because you’re taking from them. I spent a whole school year studying the Constitution. I know that most of the laws we have today are fake.

What sort of life do you envision for yourself?

I want to grow a herb farm and have safe place where I can live and raise a family. I want to make a business that’s all about the naturalpathic and holistic world. I want to go back to when the world was actually really healthy and not as corrupt, yet stay in the present at the same time.

What is something you hate about not having a number?

I hate not having one because I can’t do the things that should be legal and still are, but the new, corrupt government won't allow us without a social security number. I mean, why would they need us to have one in the first place? It’s not like they need to know that every one is alive. I know it gives us some money but we can easily just work for it. When we get old, there is family that’s supposed to help you live the remainder of your life.

Do you look at the future hopefully? Why or why not?

I do look to the future hopefully because God has a beautiful, better plan for me, and no matter what the government does to me, He’ll protect me and guide me to defeat whoever stands in the way of God’s plans.

Would you raise your children the same way?

I would definitely raise my children in the same way as my parents! It’s all true! And I don’t want my children to be found and killed by the government just because we know the real truth about a lot of things. My parents studied hard on what they know. I haven’t researched all of what they say but I have my own projects to research.

What advice you’d give to someone else considering this path?

My advice is to go ahead and get rid of your social security number. The government shouldn’t own you. You should own your own blood, body, and life.

Ah thanks so much for all of this!!

No problem!

Hope you all enjoyed the interview! I remember still what it was like being fifteen, and loving my life, but also fearing the future because I knew it would be very hard or next to impossible to do anything I wished to do.

I just want to tell M and all others like us, "We are not victims".

We do not need to live in fear, and we do not need to fear life. We can become the sort of Americans that give to our communities and country, and we do not need permission to flourish.

We live in America, and though much of the constitution is corroded by ignorance and corruption, it still stands. It might be hard, but fight for your place in life, and fill that place so utterly and completely that no one can stop you.

Be who God created you to be, and don't let any man no matter the power they hold stop you. It will be difficult, but you can and should live the sort of free life that glorifies God and honors our forefathers.

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

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I just received my German residence visa at the beginning of this month1. I want to celebrate by debunking six myths of travel.

Once I believed I could never travel because of things I'd been told.

Some research (and travel) have taught me that myth is mostly spread by people who are pessimists — this is a universal truth. People are pretty much the same everywhere. Most people are full of good intentions though fueled by heartfelt ignorance, and the thorough rotten apples are as rare as those who are completely pure gems.

I am currently an Au Pair in Stuttgart, Germany2. It is my first time out overseas. Some would say I should be experiencing culture shock anytime soon, but I don't see that happening as I have already traveling extensively in the States experienced so many wild things in life. How can one more place, be it another country, possibly phase me?

I like to think that the US is so huge and diverse that it's impossible for any single tiny country to upset me. Though I could end up being proved wrong. We shall see.

Six Traveling Myths:

1. You must be vaccinated to travel overseas

When I first told people I wanted to go to Germany I was told, "Sounds fun, but personally traveling isn't worth getting vaccinated."

That I might even need to get vaccinated didn’t cross my mind when I first applied online to be an Au Pair. I'd researched going, and vaccinations never once came up as a requirement. I was raised unvaccinated and believe vaccinations cause more harm than help in first world3 countries, and so I didn't like the idea of having to get shots to travel.

When some random person told me I would need vaccines, I did some googling but couldn't find solid answers. My mom said my grandparents had a book on how to travel without being vaccinated (my grandfather is a naturopathic doctor). So I asked them for the book. But they told me the book was outdated, and that I couldn't travel in this day and age without immunizations of some sort. They too, did their best to dissuade me from even trying.

However, I was determined, and decided I'd just go and see what happened.

This could’ve stopped me. Which makes it all the more crazy — I didn’t need to look into any loopholes, because this ended up being a non-issue. Nobody asked for proof of immunizations. The family I'm staying with in Germany bought me health insurance, but I didn't even have to be present in person for that as they bought it before I arrived in Germany. The health insurance company only wanted my birth information.

You can travel unvaccinated. You may have a harder time in third world countries, I'm not sure. Guess I should go to Africa next just to see.

2. You need a social security number

If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time you’ll realize that this is an obvious myth.

However, any amount of logic should tell you it's certainly false. Social security numbers are American. It might be hard to get a passport without one, but I did it. Aside from that, another country isn’t going to ask you for a number that isn’t a part of their system, therefore it is not requested in the visa process.

Visas are basically stamps of permission from the other country to enter, work, or reside in their country. They do not care about your American status, as long as you have enough money to not be a vagrant in their country.

3. It’s neither safe nor appropriate for girls to travel alone

I hear this even when I'm traveling in the states.

Perhaps there's an ounce of truth to it. Or maybe a lot more than an ounce. I'm not going to deny that life is dangerous, and it’s statistically more dangerous for women than men.

But whether you're a girl or a guy, whether you're in your house or some strange place, there will always be risks.

Life is one big long string of choosing which risks and precautions are worth taking. You can't escape death; its coming is inevitable and mysterious for every one of us. But we can accept the gift of life and live it as fully as we are each able.

That being said, there are precautions a "good girl" with a set of morals and decent desires will follow. Don't visit bars, don't go to some drunk festival, don't walk down dark alleys, avoid places with loud music. Find good friends and hang out with those sort of people. Whether you're home, or traveling, surround yourself with righteous people and you’re usually safer than not.

No matter where you live or where you go, if you follow the same basic principles and values you'll reap the same sort of consequences good or bad. Yes, bad things might still happen to good girls traveling. But, the sad truth of life is that bad things happen to good girls under their own roofs, in their home towns everywhere on Earth.

We were never called to be safe, but to be wise. And wisdom knows that one is never safe, and thus must be brave and live regardless.

I'll add one final point. Traveling isn't some modern feminist advantage that women have. Girls and women have always traveled, often alone. It was a mark of a cultured and educated woman to have been abroad. Sometimes that time abroad meant studying at an art school, or living with distant relatives for a summer, or helping out an elderly aunt in trade of a widening experience.

Even in Biblical times, girls traveled, whether to visit and work at the temple, or to go stay with another family, or to be “mail-ordered brides”. The story of Rebekah and Isaac is one of the most craziest traveling experience one could ever have!

To all the girls wanting to travel, if you want to do it, do it. But do it with purpose. Don't go abroad to be wild, but to learn. You'll find that you are actually pretty safe and have a much fuller experience than those who travel for a mere two weeks to take selfies at some tourist attraction.

I've stepped out of my comfort zone many times. Though not in ways that would cause actual danger to my soul or purity, but ways that have stretched my skills and knowledge. This sort of thing is always good for women, and will create the sort of woman who can both rock the cradle and rule (righteously) the world.

4. Traveling is tourism

No, there are many options for those wanting to experience the world outside of their home environment.

As I've said above, I am an Au Pair in Germany. It is easy to become an Au Pair in just about any first world country and a handful of others. Just google for places to apply online, and you'll find many. Or you can go as an exchange student, work at a farm or ranch, or if you know somebody, try seeing if you can stay with them for a time. Living with someone or working in another country is the best way to learn about that culture.

If you like you can still do touristy things. But try going outside of the box. A friend and I recently went to Berlin, and while we spent the first day doing touristy things, the second day we visited Dietrich Bonhoeffer's house and then went flea marketing and thrift store shopping—who wants to buy junk at tourist shops when you can find authentic things for discounted prices elsewhere?

5. Traveling is Expensive

I know this lady who has eight children and while they are not wealthy, they make a point to travel often because she believes it's good for her children to see other ways of life and have a broader view of the world and its people.

You can always afford what you value.

It doesn't take a lot of money to travel, it just takes a bit of planning and a little self-denial.

You have to sacrifice all those snacks and drinks you'd like so that those dollars can be put away for a plane ticket (or maybe gas money for a road trip). Then you have to endure long headaches as you spend up to hours looking for the best deals in flights, or planning your route.

Further sacrifice is involved when it come to the question of where will you sleep. Hotels add up. If you're driving, make your car practical for sleeping. If you have lots of people and just need that room ... squish people together. If you're flying and that plane was canceled, just spend the night in the airport (yes, I've done this). If you're overseas I highly recommend checking out hostels as they are usually no more than $10 a night. For girls, I'd recommend getting a women's dorm to sleep in. I know people who think hostels are dangerous, but it's not.

As in anything, be wise, and just go for it. Travel lightly, buy sparingly, walk when you can, and sleep where you are. If you follow those simple rules, you'll find that traveling isn't so bad.

"But a plane ticket isn't cheap," many say.

Yes, that's technically true. I spent a little over $1000 for a round trip to Germany. I'm not going to say that's not a lot of money. But I value traveling, and so it was worth the price. And since I view these six months as education, a thousand bucks is nothing for an education.

It's all about the perspective and what you want.

6. Traveling is lonely and boring

As an extrovert, I'll admit that the first few times I've traveled, it was lonely. I took it personally when the person next to me would just sit down, insert his earphones, and ignore me on the whole flight.

But traveling has also balanced the introverted side of myself to such an extent that sometimes I really love being alone. I still prefer to enjoy things with other people, but I can now appreciate beauty on my own and live with my thoughts for hours and days at a time.

Sometimes that is lonely. Sometimes I do wish for an in depth conversation. But there's always a remedy for any problem, if you just think on it hard enough.

Besides, there are other people that like to travel and meet other people. Not every person sitting next to me on a plane has been rude. I've had many great conversations with my seat buddy. Furthermore, America isn't the only country with churches or social events. You have to look for them. Invitations don't come knocking at doors. With a bit of will power and a lot of nerve, it's impossible to stay lonely for long.

As for being boring, it's all in your perspective. One can learn to have a lot of fun in the quiet, slow paced moments. I don't know about you, but I've been learning that peace is far from boring. Through traveling, I have developed many new tastes, including hiking and visiting attractions on my own. And I've also become very much at home with myself.

I hate how the word has become misused, but it's quite empowering to become more satisfied in who you are and with the world you live in. Traveling isn't something I lightly recommend. It will grow you in ways you never thought possible, will open you to other ideas, and will test you in everything you believe.

Do you like to travel? What are myths you've heard and debunked simply by doing? Do you relate to any of the things I've shared? Share your thoughts with me in the comments, and if you've enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends!

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

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Today homeschooling isn't as dangerous nor as controversial as it once was. But this is because families untied and fought the system and won. Today, not as many families fear their children being stolen away by the government, yet it does still happen.

I pray this gives you all hope for the battles we fight today. Might that there be a time where what we believe and do is looked upon as good and healthy, not unlawful.

And with that, I present Connie White:

Keturah and I chatted a little after her first post because this subject fascinates me, and I have my own feelings about many of the same things she discussed.

My personal history with anything like this is brief.

My parents did not get my brother and me social security numbers until he was a teenager and trying to get a job. I’m younger, so I think I was around twelve when this was happening, and of course, didn’t care in the slightest. My parents opted to get both of us a number at the same time, so I never had to navigate any actual world issues without one, and we always had birth certificates.

Now, in some ways, I wish my parents had left me without a social security number, though, since I already had a birth certificate, I’m not sure that would’ve mattered. And who knows? I may have ended up getting one anyway, as I didn’t really understand or consider the repercussions of these kinds of things until I was older.

This sounds crazy to say because we don’t think of a birth certificate in terms of anything but paperwork acknowledging identity, but in reality, a birth certificate gives the state authority and jurisdiction over our children it would not otherwise have. There are many, many court cases indicating how this plays out -from educational and medical oversight to having to pay taxes as an adult.

This may not be so bad when the government is not overstepping its bounds, but I think we can all agree the danger of a government becoming too big is real and can be seen throughout history.

Even as a homeschooled kid in the ‘80s, we had a very real fear of being taken away from our family as the regulations increased. My parents said they tried to adhere to them, but all they got was bureaucratic rigamarole and no one would (or could!) really tell them what to do, who to talk to, or guide them to the proper resources. (There was no Googling back then.)

So, we essentially homeschooled illegally.

The political climate surrounding homeschooling in the ‘80s was quite polarized, and we knew people who disapproved of it strongly and would have turned us in for truancy if they’d known. Without birth certificates, the state would have had no say in our education.

These days, I hear of children being taken away from parents with little to no cause or proof of any wrongdoing given and no possible recourse. I have a friend who works with an organization involved in the legal cases of families in this situation, and the stories are heartbreaking and many of the reasons children are being taken are unbelievable. I am definitely not against having an organization such as child protective services, but when the state’s idea of harm begins to cross over into a personal belief system rather than actual injury, we are walking a really dangerous line.

With the current trends, I’d have to seriously wrestle with the birth certificate/social security number issue if I were to have children. Would I want to give ANY government rights over my children that could supersede my own, much less a government that is increasingly demonizing godly behavior and exercising a strong arm regarding religious liberties?

I know that our country is difficult to navigate without being a part of its system, and I’m sure there are things you just can’t do without a birth certificate and social security card. Perhaps, in the past, the benefits outweighed the risks, but I’m afraid the time is fast approaching (or is already here!) when that is no longer the case.

When Keturah asked me to guest post, she said she wanted to show that other people with “sane minds” understand her family’s stance. I’m not sure if I’ve managed to sound sane … I’m rather afraid that I’ve come across as a crazy conspiracy theorist!

But I hope you’ll at least examine the issue for yourself. That’s really the only way to learn.

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

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I first applied for my passport about three years ago1 expecting to be denied.

That's not to say I didn't plan to ever get my passport. I just thought it was a worthless pursuit. At this point in my life, I was ready to be done "not existing" and was considering applying for a social security number.

It has started to feel like a burdensome, pointless family tradition. I didn't understand why we didn't have a number. While it made for fun conversation, I was also very bitter with where it often lead with certain, skeptical friends.

I schemed a plan to try my family's way to prove to them that it was futile work, and when I was denied I would be done with all of it and exist like a normal person.

I had neither a hopeful nor a positive attitude when I began the application process.

I was tired of not doing anything with the life God had given me. I felt the intense desire to travel, and I was done being ruled by family conspiracies (whether true or false, I didn't care). I wanted to do things with my life. I wasn't going to let family, government, or paperwork stop me.

I applied using the following documents:

• Photo ID (I didn't have my driver's license yet)

• Page from the family Bible

• Home-made, notarized birth certificate

• A few birth affidavits (our post office gave these forms to us)

• Page from the IRS stating I didn't have an SSN

• Letters, electric bills

• School records (I only had one Amish made report card)

• Newspaper clipping of my birth announcement

• And the form. When it came to the line asking for a social security number, I filled it in with all 0s

• A hand written letter stating I didn’t have a social security number or birth certificate due to “religious beliefs”

The guy who helped me at the post office took my photos for the passport. I remember being annoyed when he told me I couldn't smile for the photo. When I see a camera I smile. It's sacrilege to do anything else.

He said, "They want to see your natural face. No one walks through the airport smiling."

My mother said, "Keturah does."

Which was actually mostly true. When I see grouchy people I like to slap them with a smile to show to them the world doesn't have to be as awful as they make it out to be. And airports, especially TSA, are full of grouches, so I smile a lot there2.

I paid a nonrefundable $100 knowing I was throwing my money away, then applied for permission to leave my country.

I was told they couldn't just outright deny me. If they needed more information, they'd send a letter requesting specific alternative documents. I received that letter, in a very official looking white envelope. I replied, but more letters followed.

I grew to dread those envelopes over the following months. It felt like a sick game that would never end. Surprisingly, I was never asked about not having a social security number. My birth certificate was causing the most mayhem. They wanted me to prove I was in fact born in the States.

I mailed a request for vital records to the state I was born — I was of course not found since I had no state issued birth certificate. I gave them what they wanted, though, and continued to exchange letters back and forth with the Department of State. I grew more disheartened with each small white envelope. It felt like they would never be satisfied.

I also begin to hope, though. I wanted this thing to work! And because I could see it wasn’t the number that was going to cause me issues, I began to rethink my desire to just “become normal”.

After about a year I received a huge orange envelope.

Part hesitant, part excited, I opened the package to find all of my information returned . . . My passport application was denied.

I was angry.

I'd worked so hard on this for a whole year. I'd sent them everything they'd requested. There should have been another white letter if my information was insufficient. They were supposed to ask for more information before denying.

But I had no grounds to complain. They had every right to keep my money and keep me in America.

I'd learned that a social security would do me no good and that I'd still have the same issue proving that I belonged here, or deserved to be allowed to leave and return. So, in a way I was more upset than when I started our because I had no idea what to do. I felt defeated.

I waited a good year, and then feeling ready, I tried again.

I sent all the same information along with my driver's license (which I was told wouldn’t matter that much), except this time I overwhelmed them with more birth affidavits along with information about my parents.

Soon after applying I received another letter. They wanted a list of every place I'd ever lived... an actual fun project that filled nearly two pages. I've moved a lot. I returned the letter and waited for inevitable failure.

Six months later, on January 1, 2018 I received another orange package with all of my information returned.

However, this time instead of a rejection, I had my passport.

I don't remember being excited. Only relieved. And part of me wondered if they'd made a mistake and would come take the passport back! But some undocumented friends of ours were able to get their passports shortly after, too.

I immediately applied online to be an Au Pair in Germany. I was going to leave America! I'd done the impossible. And I was ready to tread this path to its utmost end.

It took nearly two years, and twice the application fee, but I'd done it. I learned a ton, and realized I wanted to know more about my undocumented privilege. I found myself agreeing more and more with my family's beliefs now that I didn’t feel so stuck and stifled. They felt more than mere traditions now — I was beginning to see faint glimmers of benefits, too.

I loved the feeling of no longer feeling isolated by my heritage, but able to embrace it as a good part of who I am. It was then that I began to think of starting this blog.

Would you have applied the second time? What is something you've learned to appreciate about your upbringing that you didn’t initially understand? How important is traveling to you? Share your thoughts with me, and share this post with others if you enjoyed it!

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These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

Buy Me a Coffee

Like every brainless sixteen year old, I couldn't wait to get my driver's license. I had nowhere I really wanted or needed to go, yet I wanted to drive very much. I wanted to see friends, go places, have freedom from family. But, unlike many teenagers, I feared I'd never be able to actually get a license because I had no state issued birth certificate or social security number.

Most of my relatives believed that we couldn't get a license without a social security number. Many of my relatives also believe it was wrong to have a license (I actually agree with them and will do a future post on that specific topic).

I think my dad technically believes that having a driver's license is an infringement of our rights. But he also said it wasn't a battle he was willing to fight. He said if the boys wanted to risk it they could, but he didn’t want us girls spending time in jail over it. There were bigger fights to fight.

He encouraged me to get a driver's license, wouldn’t let me drive until I had one, and believed it was possible for me to get one. He and my mother both had licenses without numbers, so they thought they could get me one.

However we were aware that everything in the States had cracked down and become harder for natural born Americans since 9/11. My dad's tricks for opening a bank account no longer worked as well. Renewing his license had gotten harder.

Despite my parents’ confidence, I stressed that I'd never be able to legally drive. Despite risk of jail, I was willing to just start driving illegally, but my parents wouldn’t permit that. We moved states after sixteenth birthday. Dad asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told him, "My driver's license1."

Dad said yes, and I felt a little more at ease. I thought, "Maybe I can and will get my license."

But we never made it in to apply. I turned seventeen, then eighteen, then nineteen.

Dad was always too busy to help, or there was "something" he needed to do first, and "it took time". While he usually had valid excuses, I grew impatient and upset.

I turned twenty and I still couldn't drive. I was walking or biking to all my jobs which limited what work I was able to accept. I decided I was going to get serious about getting my license — it wasn’t just about seeing friends anymore, I wanted to expand my cleaning business.

I told my father I wanted to get my license now. I wouldn’t wait any longer.

I'd said this many times before, but for some reason, things started rolling forward. We gathered as many forms of ID together as we could. Here are some of them:

• My hunting education. I got this when I was fifteen, I think. It's my first form of ID, but there was a mistake made on the card by the people making it so my initials are KIL rather than KAL. I thought it so ironic for a hunting card, so I left it as is.

• Photo ID. I got this when I was eighteen. The first place we called about obtaining one wouldn't give us one without an social security number, but we found an office in another town that only asked for birth certificates. They only gave us paper versions until we could find "more" information", but I was able to fly for a couple years with this alone.

• Home made notarized birth certificate. It doesn't have to be a state birth certificate to be legal, but it should look like one as much as possible, and also be notarized. Research this thoroughly before making your own. And then, don't be an idiot and advertise the fact that your BC is different than others. If you want help with this, email me at keturahskorner(at)gmail(dot)com.

• Fishing license. I think we were desperate to overwhelm them. They didn't need this or the hunting ID, though.

• Page from the Family Bible, and newspaper clipping from when I was born.

• Proof of residence (electric bill) and letter with my name on it. I think I also brought a library card.

We found a free day, then Dad, Mom, and I went into our local MVD to begin the most exciting, exhilarating process of my youth. Like anyone else wanting a license, we waited our turn and filled out the paperwork.

The Girl Who Doesn't Exist

Pretend to Be A Normal Person

Before I share how I got my driver’s license, passport, or banking account, I need to tell you the most important thing you can know to live a successful life as a sovereign citizen…

Read more

10 months ago · Keturah Hickman

M parents stayed behind and I went up by myself when I was called. I handed over the forms for a permit. I was nervous, but hopeful and smiled. The lady however seemed to resent the smile, or perhaps she resented the freedom she saw behind my smile. Either way, she was rude and not very helpful.

"I'll need your social security number," she said, not long into starting the process.

"I don't have one, " I gently explained. "Due to religious beliefs."

"Everyone has a social security number," she snapped.

"Not me. I was born at home and my parents chose to not give me one."

"That's not true."

Now I was trying with all my might to not show my irritation and agitation. This lady had the nerve to call me a liar? And for what reason?

"The system says you have one," she said.

To this day, I'm still not sure what she meant. Maybe she meant, it showed that I should have one, because that's to be expected. But I clearly didn’t have one.

"Well, I don't. It's impossible that I would have one," I said. Fear entered my heart for a moment. Could I possible have one? But how?

From the corner of my eye, I saw Mom ready to jump over and say something. Dad looked ready to come, too, but he told Mom to wait.

"What do I need to do to prove to you that I don't have one," I asked.

"Go to the IRS office and get a statement saying so. But you won't be able to get that and be back in time today."

"I'll try," I said. It had taken four years to make today happen. I mean, my dad had been working on things like my birth certificate, but still. I wasn't going to risk waiting another four years.

We went to the IRS office immediately.

Some people seem to think we were brave stepping inside "enemy lines". But you see, the people there weren't and aren't our enemies, just misinformed people doing a job for a salary.

And while we aren't a part of their society, we are free and legal Americans. We had no need to fear. My only thought was, "I hope we can get this paper fast enough to return back and get my permit today."

As we waited Dad chatted with a security guard, and they got along just fine. Another great example of how to be a shining light rather than a glaring flashlight.

We didn't have long to wait. We went to the back where several women worked, and we asked for a statement proving I (and some of my siblings) didn't have a social security number.

"You want what?" The lady wasn't rude, merely surprised.

"Can you look me up in your system and see if I'm there, then if I'm not, can you print out a letter that says so?"

"I don't know if we can do that—"

Another lady in the back said, "Yes, we can! You just do it like this ..."

The ladies actually seemed quite thrilled to be doing something so strange. They looked me up, and sure enough I didn't exist in their databases, so they printed out a letter for me.

"And would you like to get a number?"

"No thank you!"

I was so excited to have that piece of paper, and practically skipped right through and out of the IRS office. We drove back to the MVD. The lady was not happy to see us again so soon.

"I told you not to come back until tomorrow."

"I thought you only wanted a letter saying I didn't have a number? I have it."

She stammered, and muttered, and looked like she was trying to think of some way to get rid of me. But she couldn't. So I sat and smiled and waited as she made call after troublesome (for her—I'm quite patient and didn't mind waiting fifteen more minutes) call as she found out the right numbers to enter to bypass their "required" line needing the social security number.

It worked, and it was all I could to do not explode with joy. I knew I needed to remain somewhat calm or this lady would find a reason to make the whole thing not work.

"I'll need a state birth certificate," she said.

Now. Here's another HUGE important part of my story.

I could have said, "I don't have a state certificate, but a homemade one."

I would have had every right to say so, and legally my certificate should have done the job just fine. But this lady could have denied it all the same. Or I may have been able to argue with her for another thirty minutes and finally won. But why?

Here, some will say, "But you should have educated her."

"You should have made her give you what you want on your terms."

1. It's not our job to educate those who are unwilling. We speak truth, yes, and we never hide from it. But we should NEVER shove that truth at a hardened heart. It never does any good, creates a pointless scenes, and wins nothing for us or them at the end of the day.

2. I've entered another world, and like it or not, I must play by their rules (loopholes count). Respect goes a long way in winning any strategic game. This was a game of strategy that required me being as peaceful and loving as possible. I was not here to preach or convert.

My personal motto when dealing with officials has always been to never volunteer unnecessary information. Say what's important, and be done with it. And simply pretend to be a normal person. Act for success, and act like you are successful.

Don’t become of the tyrants.

I wasn't going to be a fool just to appease my own pride. Yes, this lady was annoying. But I didn't go there for a pleasant conversation. I went so that I might obtain a silly, but half-way necessary of permission slip.

And guess what?

I got my license.

P.S. My driving "instructor" was quite nice. She and I had a conversation about all things books and writing and publishing. So don't enter every government space expecting to meet Mrs Grouchy. Be prepared, yes. But don't do worse and arrive as Mr Victim or Ms Sour-eye

That folks, is how I asked for permission to drive to work, and succeeded on my own terms without being a jerk. If you have any questions, or similar stories, please share in the comments or by email!

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

Buy Me a Coffee

Bold is me and normal text is M. C. B.

Welcome to my blog! Have you ever had a social security number?

No I haven’t. My parents have, though

What is your personal opinion concerning SSNs and other forms of government identification documents?

In terms of an SSN or anything like that, I don’t agree with it at all because it puts you into a social system. In terms of citizenship documents, those make sense. Currently I’m trying to figure out how to get a passport without an SSN so I can fly.

Great answers ... I have my passport and I’ll be doing a post on how to do that. Do you drive? What is your opinion on driver’s licenses?

I do drive. I drive without a state license. In my state, the traffic code clearly states that if you aren’t a driver for hire, then there’s an exception for you where you don’t need a driver’s license.

My opinion on drivers’ licenses is that they should be illegal. If we have freedom of movement, then we shouldn’t have to get permission from the government to drive as a form of travel. Drivers’ licenses should instead be driver’s certificates. That way, if police pull you over, they see that you’ve been certified to drive by a private company, but that they can’t take you to jail or fine you for not having a government approved document.

There was never a license for horse-drawn carriages.

I was kicked out of a brewery in Colorado because I didn’t have a state driver’s license or a passport. I was twenty-one at the time, and they didn’t like my International Driver’s Permit because it was falling apart. The lamination on my wallet broke up, and because I work outside, the rain damaged the paper and ink. My parents were there with me but they wouldn’t take their word that I was twenty-one.

The Supreme Court has upheld the freedom of contract and to choose who to contract with. You CAN choose not to contract with the government. The government cannot force you to contract with it.

I said as much to a police officer who pulled me over for speeding.

I got a ticket because the cop didn’t like my IDP, and the only “law” he cited I broke was the whole chapter of the Texas Traffic Code.

I argued void for vagueness.

There’s no way I could have broken that whole chapter.

Lol. Yeah, that’s quite vague. Did you win?

So, we fought it. We sent them several letters before my court date saying we’re paying the ticket under threat, duress, and coercion. They didn’t care. The judge sent me a letter saying she just wanted to “talk”, but she tricked me into trying to plead. The judge told me straight to my face she didn’t know what the Miranda rights and the fifth amendment were.

But, they dismissed it before I had my jury trial. That prosecutor was so scared 😂😂😂

Wow that’s insane

The whole proceeding was wack.

Do you have a birth certificate?

I do not have a birth certificate.

When did it first hit you that you didn’t have an SSN?

I suppose it hit when my dad told me he never got me one. He said if I wanted to later, that I could get one when I was eighteen, but I haven’t done so.

Have you ever hated not having one? Do you think you might ever get one and have you ever considered doing so before?

Oh, yes, many times. I can’t get a bank account, a passport, possibly a regular job, a credit card, a paypal account, etc without finding some weird workaround. I still haven’t really decided if I want to get one. Mainly the reasons why I don’t have one is because I don’t want to be drafted and I don’t want to be part of a government approved Ponzi scheme.

Do you work? If so, please explain what sort you’re able to do.

Yes, I work. I work for my dad’s pool cleaning business. I’ve been working for him for about three years now.

What are your goals for your future? Does not having an SSN hinder those goals?

Well, a long-term goal of mine would be to possibly move out of state. For that to happen, I’d need to know how to handle the whole anti-SSN stuff on my own, and be able to get a job out of state, or make my own business. A short-term goal right now is to buy a house. I have no clue how to do that.

Please share a bit about yourself, to show that you’re human, not an alien ;)

I’ll be 22 in a few months.

Some hobbies of mine are video games (I love Nintendo), drone flying, small-scale cinematography, listening to political talk shows, and watching/listening to YouTube, and some anime now and then.

Right now life is kinda up in the air as to what my future looks like. I’d like to start a house renting business, possibly. I’d need a lot of money for that though. I might have the chance soon to start doing repairs for my dad’s business and earn more money every month, but I’d need to be retrained on everything he’s taught me since I was little.

I’d also like to start a family eventually, but finding a girl who’s libertarian (or crazy) enough for the pressures of all the anti-SSN/anti tax ID stuff feels like an almost impossible task.

These are such GREAT answers!What sort of political podcasts do you listen to?

Haha, thanks! Generally Ben Shapiro. I listen to a lot of stuff on YouTube, too.

I love him! A new favorite of mine is Candace Owens and I like her nearly as much as Shapiro, But he’s the one I listen to the most

Oh, oh, oh! Another one is Allie Stuckey. I looooove her podcast so much. My mom recommended her to me and I’ve loved listening to her Bible and politics episodes.

I listen to her occasionally, but she has an annoying attitude to me. But she always says good things.

Hahaha, I don’t really find her annoying.

Yeah most people don’t find her that way. I just do ... I think it didn’t help that the first video I listened to was all these silly pet peeves of hers of things people do on airplanes, and I just thought it petty and immature 😆

But back to the point ... I’m so excited to get the interview up. Is there anything else you’d like to add?

Yeah. A little more. For people who want to live like this, it’s very hard with a lot of frustration. It’s worth the fight because you’re not the government’s slave. It can be very hard because some people don’t understand, when you try to talk to them about it.

Find some libertarian friends who you think you’d be safe to talk about it with without them blowing up at your face. It’s easier to vent when you have friends to talk to.

That’s awesome!! Some great advise there, too. Friends, even if they disagree, who support you are gems. Thanks so much for doing this for me!

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

Buy Me a Coffee

The idea behind being a sovereign citizen sounds good. It’s based on these words from Declaration of Independence.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." ~ Declaration Of Independence

Sovereign citizens believe we are all equal rulers of our own land, we authorize and pay the government to work for and serve us, and if they go against the will of the people (not just a specific person, but the majority of the good) we have the right and duty to remove and replace the government accordingly.

Because we, the people rule, not the government. We create their offices, we fill the offices, and we make sure that those offices run appropriately.

That sounds great to most Americans, but, things get a little murky for sovereign citizens after the basics. It is because of those heated vagueries that I and my family do not identify as citizens.

Sovereign citizens:

• Have a reputation for being wacky, and for quoting the constitution as a deranged Christian might twist the Bible according to their own purposes.

• Tend to be white supremacists or believe that we give permit other ethnic people’s liberties, not God.

• Reject US Citizenship.

• Oppose Illegal Immigrants instead of viewing them as allies.

• Get too caught up in the details — they are HUGE into declaring that they are NOT a corporal entity and make a big deal about how their names are printed.

• Believe that they aren't only a sovereign in and of themselves because of the constitution, but that they are free because they are some sort of small divinity.

• Believe it’s a violation of their “ divine rights” to subject themselves to any man. When they are called to court, which they often are because they stick out like a sore thumb, they speak ridiculous rhetoric. They deny the authority of the courtroom and claim that they are above the law because they are the law. They don’t really believe in the biblical principals of submission or self-sacrifice.

I believe all men are equal, not just white men. No group of people grants anyone their humanity; they are born human. I believe that we form the government, but this doesn’t make the government subhuman (it’s just important to remind the government that we, too, aren’t subhuman).

I do agree that too many Americans are content with other, often immoral and degenerate, men ruling over them. Such Americans have grown lazy and do not remember their role as the people.

I’m more of a conscientious objector than a sovereign citizen, and in as much as these two political thoughts have some overlap, there are glimmer of similarities between how my family operates and how a sovereign citizen lives. Nevertheless, there are chasmic differences between us and sovereign citizens.

My Family

• We are pacifists. We own guns, but do not condone violent militia-style protests.

• We are allies with illegal immigrants and the Amish because we both use the same loopholes in order to live the American Dream

• We have never rescinded our status as an American citizen. We are natural born American citizens with little to no documentation as ALL Americans WERE until the 70s

• We are not opposed to taking government offices on occasion (this makes us not true conscientious objectors, too)

• My family has a great reputation in our community

If sovereign citizens looked more like our family and less like militia-hungry, isolated old men I might be prone to accept the label. There are aspects of the “movement” that attract me. But mostly it’s an oxymoronic term that lacks any true power.

However they are a far cry from being a true terrorist organization — they are hardly organized. Not all sovereign citizens are deranged, either. It's never right to define any group by its radicals. Not all cops are evil. Not all blacks are democrats. Not all Muslims are ISIS. Not all Mexicans own cartels. Not all feminists are hateful and insane.

This is why I don’t like labels. While something might be true of an individual or even a majority, it's hardly ever true of everyone. And because of this, when searching for truth and freedom we need to always be extremely cautious in employing labels to judge individuals.

I do tend to agree that America should be a group of separate states composed of aware individuals who by their voice and support make a whole unit of strong, educated, free people. Sovereign citizens claim to want this, too. However, they are too disorganized, despite what the media would have you believe. They are hardly even a movement. They are too secretive, too isolated to ever do much harm or good.

My goal with this website is to bring together those few who are not crazy or violent, whether they call themselves a sovereign citizen or not. Change never comes from the mouth of a single fool, but through the words of a united force. My goal is to show that even if you have a social security number or other government documents, you aren't doomed. You are still America.

You are the people of the America. You are its government. You are the one who determines if your prayers to God are worth uttering. God has given us a country in which we may speak and govern ourselves. Will we forfeit the reins to another, or will we embrace our sovereignty under God?

Once humanity could shove the burden of a nation on the shoulders of their king and queen. But our forefathers took that burden, and it's now our inheritance through popular sovereignty.

It is our duty, our responsibility, and our privilege to protect and guide the future of our country. We are no longer mere citizens of a tyrant, but share-rulers of our home. Sovereign citizens are correct to point this out.

If we don't accept our American role, but submit to possible tyranny under the pretense of twisted scriptures and philosophies, we deserve the doom that awaits America. As long as we breathe, as long as our conscience beats, we have something to give to our country: ourselves.

The focus of American sovereignty needs to be redirected from individual rights to a desire to make sacrifices for each other. The true “sovereign citizen” would be more concerned to sacrifice himself for righteous causes out of a hope of the future.

Will you embrace your place, or will you allow another to stand and speak in your stead?

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

Buy Me a Coffee

I was almost seventeen when I felt I'd finally tasted life. And it was good.

I got my first job, something I thought I'd never be able to do.

Now I laugh at my younger self. And I also laugh at those who have social security numbers and say they can't find work. Here I am, technically unable to work, and I can't keep up with the influx of jobs.

There's something about work that enlivens the human spirit. It doesn't necessarily give us purpose, but it certainly breathes and validates our purpose and goals in life.

Work makes living seem possible, and not only in the literal sense. That bit of life I've found through cleaning houses and babysitting — from making my own money — inspired me to not give up on the fight to be free.

I was never a normal child. I hated playing outside with the kids. I was more interested in sitting in on the adults' conversations. There were always so many things to learn. Whenever I opened my mouth to ask a question I was quickly noticed and told, "Go be a kid and play."

I learned important things about my status as an “undocumented American” from those conversations.

"Never leave lines blank," the adults said.

When a document needed a social security number you didn't write N/A, or worse yet "Against my religious beliefs."

You put down numbers. For different places different numbers worked. Sometimes you’d use all 0s or all 9s worked. Occasionally one should use 1s or 8s or 2s. Sometimes we knew the exact bypass string of numbers for specific forms, but a lot of time it required a little trial and error.

It's been one of those pieces of information I've always kept tucked at the back of my mind, never knowing how crucial it would be. Or exciting.

I think I was born to be a capitalist1. I love working, and I love seeing my work become money. I first got serious about "business" when I found $54 dollars in Walmart's parking lot.

"Mom, look!" I think I was eleven at the time.

I was going to turn it in to Walmart, but Dad said since it was cash they would probably just keep it.

So now a poor eleven year old suddenly felt very rich. What was I to do?

I would invest.

I already knew how to embroider, sew, and knit. The logical thing to me was to invest in my skills and make things to sell. I bought beading and jewelry supplies (which I still have and use to this day), flower sack towels, embroidery floss, and peaches & créme yarn.

I sold these things by walking up town streets, calling in on a local radio station (I actually ended up trading the towels for more books than money on there), and through custom orders at farmers’ markets. I decided to expand my entrepreneurship when I was sixteen. I sold all sorts of things on Craigslist from handmade goods to thrifted antiques.

When my dad found several pickup loads of books in the dump, I started selling books on Amazon. I made hundreds doing that, but as soon as I hit fifty sales Amazon shut me down because I didn't have a tax ID number. By that time I was successfully making money through other endeavors, so didn't try to fight it.

On January 8, 2013 I started an Etsy store. It never did as well as Craigslist or Amazon, but this was still a monumental step for me, for it is the day my mom came up with the name "Keturah's Korner", and Etsy is what gave me the motivation to apply the knowledge I'd stored away about blank lines and strings of like-numbers.

It took me a long time, but I was eventually able to attach a direct checkout system to my Etsy store. I tried using several different numbers. A string of 2s let me bypass the social security number requirement. I was elated and hardly cared that I made any sales.

To further my business, I opened a PayPal account. At first I attached my dad's banking account and my mom's ID, and again I played around until I was able to bypass the “required” social security number. It was small, but getting a PayPal has always been one of my favorite early achievements. Shortly after, with a homemade notarized birth certificate, I was able to get my first photo ID. With this I would be able to fly. I have since attached my own ID and bank account to my PayPal, too.

These may all seem like small, inconsequential things to many of my readers. But to someone who thought she might always have to live a life doing nothing, these were my seeds of victory.

They were enough to give me hope for a time. They were enough to encourage me to keep trying for larger loopholes.

If I could give you one thing to chew over, it's this: try. You might fail. But then you might not.

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

Buy Me a Coffee

In the daytime I smiled and loved everyone. At night, I prayed and cried for everyone else, family and strangers alike.

I was the sort of child that prayed that God would save every person, even all those who had already died. I even prayed for Satan. The idea of anyone not loving God, of anyone choosing to burn in Hell instead, baffled and grieved me.

We attended a variety of churches growing from the strictest of evangelical home churches, to Pentecostal churches, to mainstream Protestant churches my grandfather would deem "worldly".

I think I always understood there were many people different than us. But I didn't fully understand how different we were until I was around ten years old.

My father moved us around a lot for his work. For one year we lived in Columbia Missouri, eight of us kids squashed into a small duplex. Mom liked taking us to the mall or park or anywhere to burn our active energy.

One of her favorite places was JC Penny's (aside from JoAnn's of course).

I remember her finding some necessities for us kids ... Mom rarely could find something for herself that she'd justify spending money on. The cashier was a friendly sort of women and smiled at all of us kids.

"Your children are so well behaved," the cashier said. "How do handle so many?"

The lady rang up Mom's purchases, then asked Mom if she'd like to sign up for their awards program.

"I've tried before but can't without a social security number."

I watched curiously. I knew we didn't have social security numbers, but I didn't know what that meant exactly.

My grandpa told me that they were the mark of the beast. I'd seen a few end time movies ... fascinating but terrifyingly poorly made films that I didn't understood. I wasn't sure if my grandpa was right, but I'd believe him until I could study it for myself.

"I don't think you need a number for awards!?" the woman said. "If you want, I can try and sign you up?"

Mom was tired, but she'd never could say no. She told the lady she could try.

I watched the lady excitedly try to tackle this thing she'd been told was impossible, to help a woman she admired. But after minutes of futile effort, she finally had to admit, "Yes, you'll need a social security number. Why don't you have one, if I may ask?"

"Religious beliefs," Mom replied. "Thank you for trying."

I remember thinking, "My grandpa must be right."

I remember wondering what sort of future I would have. Would I be able to do anything? Not that I cared. It was more important to love God and my family than to have awards from a store.

In fact, awards were no big deal.

Yet ... I've never been the sort who was okay with being told I couldn't live fully just because I wouldn't follow made-up rules. Even at ten years old I understood this was how and where evil started. With small things like rewards. What if I someday couldn't do anything. I didn't realize it then, but that's pretty much how it is and already was then.

Was it impossible to live without a social security number?

When I was twelve I became serious about studying the family beliefs. I found I couldn't believe everything my family stood for. This is when I began researching to understand the values I really wanted to keep for myself. I wanted to be someone who followed God over family traditions.

It's a good thing, too, because only months after this I experienced my first real betrayals from both family and strangers, and I no longer saw only good in people. I saw the evil God punishes, and it sickened me. The prayers I’d prayed as an innocent child turned a little bitter — how could God forgive some people, even with my well-intentioned prayers?

When I was fourteen I decided I wanted to attend college. What for, I didn't know. A teacher? An illustrator? Or maybe something else. All I knew is that I wanted to go because I loved learning. But I was told that without a social security number I'd never be able to attend a university.

What???

I lived in the land of the free, where supposedly all you had to do to fulfill your dreams was work hard. But now I was being told I had to have all this paperwork, too.

I decided I didn't believe a social security number was the mark of the beast. But I also felt like it was an infringement against my humanity. I wasn't going to accept it. I wasn't going to hide away and live like a hermit. I was going to fight for my dreams, and I was going to live whether or not I ever had a social security number.

But how could I when I couldn't even get a drivers license? I mean my dad said I could, but he also said it was evil and he wasn't sure yet if I ought to have one. I wasn't sure I wanted a licence, but I wanted to be able to go places.

At sixteen the weight of not being able to live and do anything hit hard. I remember waking up on my sixteenth birthday and wondering why life had to be so hard without a number. Why was this American government so cruel? Why did I have to sincerely share my family’s beliefs? It seemed I might not even be able to get a GED — why would God instill a love of learning for me alongside this deep distrust of the system?

Other thoughts plagues me, too. Would I even be able to get married? Most pastors wouldn't perform a wedding without a marriage license. And the government wouldn't hand those out without the proper documents.

Who gave the government permission to oversee our rights anyways?

I was angry and depressed. I had so much I wanted to do. For now all I could do was read and study thrifted books. I might not be able to enroll in a university, but I could study math far above my grade-level.

To make matters worse, I felt like I was the only one not content to fade away from memory. I was the only one that wanted to exist. But on my terms.

And so, amidst all my angst, I kept learning. I kept asking my father for help. I studied scripture. I hoped. The world was set against me, but I was too stubborn to not persevere.

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Before I share how I got my driver’s license, passport, or banking account, I need to tell you the most important thing you can know to live a successful life as a sovereign citizen1.

I'll eventually explain what a sovereign citizen is. And no it's not some weird thing controversial theorists would have you believe it is. At this point, even if you THINK you know what it is, pretend you don't.

A few months back I went to visit some friends of mine who live similarly to us, except they don't have anything at all. When I mentioned that I had a banking account, they asked, "How did you get that!?"

I replied, "I just went in and pretended to be a normal person. I didn't say I didn't have a social security number. And when the time came for to deal with that part of the application, the guy already liked me. Sure he was a little shocked, but I'd already proved that I wasn't a quack. I got what I wanted."

My friends laughed. “How do you pretend to be a normal person!?”

It’s funny, but it’s true. If you act like a weirdo you’ll be treated like a weirdo.

However, if you want to be successful, you have to act like you deserve success, and you do that by pretending to be normal while also being polite.

Don't go somewhere with an embittered attitude that's expecting to fail. Go there knowing you are worthy of what you want. Walk with confidence. Smile and be friendly. Don't say weird things. Don't say, "I don't have a social security number, and since you do, the government owns you."

That does no good and makes you unlikable. Naturally, a bank teller will be unwilling to assist you.

Don't be unlikable; be normal. Smiling also will do wonders. Be considerate, be loving, be normal.

Don’t give people cause to hate you, or reason to think that people like you deserve to be locked away in an insane asylum. Be willing to fight, yes, but don't go looking for a fight. Don't spill anyone's blood but your own: work hard and don't create enemies.

You are a whole citizen, not an illegal. You know your rights. Others might not, but it's not your business to educate them right now. Act like you’re entitled to justice, and you might get it a little more often.

Also remember: not having a number is a rare privilege. But it doesn't make you morally better than any other person.

It might still be difficult to get what you want. But remain confident and polite. And maybe you'll find that by pretending you are normal, you actually are — more people will be willing to announce themselves to you! Maybe by being so, you'll make it so. Maybe you'll show others that it's actually better to live confidently informed of your rights. Maybe you'll be able to make this the new normal.

Believe it and it’ll be easier to make happen.

Let me know if you’ve ever tried this and found it to be true for you, too. Feel free to remain a little quirky in public! One of my favorite things to do is bring my knitting/ sewing along to church.

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Not having a social security may seem like a novel or foreign concept to some. However, I know no other way of living.

Truman Lamb is the one that set my story in motion, as all great grandfathers do for their descendants. It began as a conflict between his convictions toward God and life and his oath and love for his wife in 1929.

It was during the heat of the great depression. My great-grandfather lived in Kansas City, Missouri. He ran a business raising poultry which suffered with the rest of the United States as the banks crashed. City ordinances enacted programs to offer assistance and jobs to the people through a welfare system and work force.

All one had to do was sign up. And many did, because it was desperate times.

But Truman Lamb was one of the very few who chose to not accept the government's charity. He strongly believed that he should "have no other gods before me {Yahweh/ God}" ( Exodus 20:3).

He believed that we were to have no league or covenant with other gods/ governments outside of our own God. It was one thing to respect them and obey them, it was another to sign a contract with them to serve them. (Judges 2). Because a number was entangled in it all he believed that it would eventually lead to the beast's mark. (Revelation 13:17-18).

People thought he was crazy — it wasn’t yet then an identification number, and wouldn’t be used as such for more than forty years until the 70s. He foresaw the future and knew it would be a number the government would use as a "mark of their ownership" and that someday it would be hard to "buy or sell" without it. People remembered their number in their heads and would use it with their hands to secure their place in a system that wasn't ordained by God's.

My great-grandfather's wife was not happy that he refused welfare assistance. She reported him to the local authorities. His business was threatened and he was threatened with jail-time and fines. But he never gave in or complied with their demands. Because there was no law against working without a social security number at the time, the authorities could not make good on any of their threats against him and his meager livelihood.

Was he nevertheless tempted to cave in? Of course. Food was scarce as was money, and the government seemed to offer everything for a reasonable trade. But he chose to trust God for his needs, and stayed true to his beliefs. Due to this and some of his other developing religious beliefs, he lost his first wife and married my great-grandmother Willa.

Truman and Willa Lamb had thirteen kids, and my grandfather, Stephen, was one of their children. My grandfather passed on his father’s faith to his children, bidding them to follow in Truman’s counterculture footsteps, to remain separated from the rulers of this land, and to love Yahweh with our entire heart, soul, and mind. We pledge allegiance to no other but God.

Not all of Truman’s children chose to remain out of the system, but my grandfather was one who refrained from securing himself to the "promises" of our government and struck out to be self-sufficient according to God's will.

My grandfather, Stephen Lamb, took the passage of the Rechabites in Jeremiah 35 to heart, and passed it on to his own children. It is a story of a grandfather warning his children that a war would come and that they needed to be prepared. The Rechabite grandfather commanded his descendants not to drink wine or plant vineyards or build houses, but to live in tents always ready to move when the time came to do so. Jeremiah put the children of this man to a test, which they passed. When a war came they survived as their grandfather had predicted "that you might live long in the days you sojourn".

My dad has always told us that we have two commandments passed on to us from our great-grandfather:

1. To never drink alcoholic beverages

2. To never get a social security number

Not every family member has obeyed these commandments, but those of us that have are blessed and live productive, respectful lives.

But my story isn't just from my father's side, but my mother's, too.

My maternal father was not raised in a Christian home, but when he discovered Jesus’ salvation he learned from various people that it was better to trust in God's provision than man's. He chose to not give his children social security numbers, and refused to buy any sort of insurance. He became a Naturopathic doctor and spread education for health that has saved many people physically and spiritually. He is still highly respected today in his field.

When my mom and dad married, I was the first born of a joint minority legacy. I have a unique tradition behind me, and I feel a special responsibility to preserver the family legacy.

I did not at first understand what it meant to be and live as I did until my mid-teens. My life was normal to me and I never questioned it for the longest time. In my future posts I'll share more on how I questioned and doubted the way I was born and raised, and how I eventually came to embrace it.

I'll also share what sort of birth certificate I have, how I got my ID and driver's license, how I got a passport, my beliefs on capitalism and what that means for income taxes, what it means to respect God's ordained rulers vs. our own government, and more.

For now, I'd like to hear YOUR story, whether you have a number or not and how you are living a life fully for God no matter the circumstances you were born into.

Share with me in the comments, or email me if you have a story you'd like to share personally with me, or if you have a story you'd like featured on this blog. My email is keturahskorner(at)gmail(dot)com.

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Polite Company

My Grampa's Book Is Available

On the evening of February 13th last year I announced a fundraiser for my grandfather’s memoir. When I awoke the next money I had all the financial aid I needed to make it possible to edit and publish his book. Now — a year later — the book is finished…

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a year ago · 12 likes · 1 comment · Keturah Hickman

1. Those without social security numbers, state birth certificates, or other government-issued documents. My goal is to provide encouragement and education to navigate the system legally while remaining true to one's convictions. This blog will be both for those who live "under the grid" for religious reasons and as well as for those who identify as conscientious objectors.

2. However this blog is not solely for those without social security numbers. It's also for those who'd like to raise their children out of the system even if they (the parents) can't get rid of their own numbers.

3. This blog is also for those who would simply like to learn, even if they plan to remain in the the system.

4. I will also be sharing political, economical, and philosophical posts.

5. This blog is not for those who are embittered. Whether or not you are in the system, this blog is not a place for one to force their beliefs onto another. I believe that we are to live in this world and make it a better place, not live reclusive, hateful lives. This blog is not for trolls and haters of any sort.

This blog launches August 3, 2019.

Thank you!

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Oh, well. When you have a message worth sharing that’s just how it is. It might be dangerous to be a whitepill, but I’m sticking to it.

This last week I sent a bunch of material to a family so that they can deduct their kids off their taxes (the kids are free yeah!!!). I have amazing, encouraging conversations with folks several times a week now. Ever notice that the people actually ending the fed don’t bother with hashtags? You got that right. We’re returning, and the “they” aren’t coming with us, whoever they are.

Did one of my first zoom calls. And wow, I know I look awkward and awful. But the next one will be better. How do I know? Because I’ve been practicing.

Enjoy another take of why I love my life. . .

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Liberty lovers,

Thank you for all the emails. Thank you for your part in preserving a dream worth labeling American. I’m loving seeing the awareness, the curiosity, and the success. Please, keep emailing me your stories!

I hosted The Yellowstone Outpost at a Libertarian event in New Hampshire June 2022. It was a fantastic time meeting all sorts of liberty minded people. We provided food, music, tatting lessons, goats to pet, and presented on a few topics important to community welfare and happiness. I spoke on not existing.

A couple reporters came through while working on their Free State Project docuseries, a collection of thirteen-minute videos on a Libertarian manifesto. Some of my story is featured in episode two. You can watch it here.

These essays will remain free to the public. However, if you enjoy this publication, consider buying a coffee to support The Girl Who Doesn’t Exist!

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